Coaching Para climbers was never something I thought I could handle. Why, because I was scared...
Scared of letting them down, letting myself down, scared of failing... Being close to other people who have suffered huge difficulty and trauma on a sometimes unimaginable scale and have risen to meet their challenges seemed initially too scary for me. Why, I didn't really know? Why was I doing this as I never saw myself as a particularly giving person with the strengthn of personality required to work in such an environment.
But today in a coaching session with an amazing woman para climber who has MS I realized a connection with all this. It was about dealing with real loss, you know a BIG loss and the avoidance of letting yourself believe in something again, so you don't have to lose it all over again...
When I began my own journey of trying to recover from my personal losses I just focused on me. Trying to have as good and adventurous a time as possible to help me repair my loss, but it seems a little empty and lacking real depth now. Giving feels hard, especially at an honest and emotional level but when you give, you get to share in the brilliance and bravery of others and that is beginning to feel great.
Anyway...
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